The power of forgiveness

Recently I learnt a very good lesson about forgiveness. I had been holding on to past hurts and was bearing a huge grudge. It just brought a lot of negative energy in my life, because I felt angry and bitter all the time. But then I made a decision to let go.......let go of the pain, anger, hate, resentment and all the negativity.

I can't tell you what a load that was off my shoulders, it's weird but I feel like I can even breath better. I learnt that forgiving someone is not about letting that person get away with hurting you but it's about allowing yourself to live again, it's about healing your own wounds.

One of the authors of 'The Secret' said it best when he said: Not forgiving someone and being bitter is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person will die from it.

'I blame you for nothing, but I forgive you everything' - Mary J. Blige

One of my favourite songs

INDIA ARIE - "Ready For Love"

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom, To be held in your captivity
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow I'll say the same thing
I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain I just need you to acknowledge I am here
If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respect's the spirit world
And thinks with his heart
I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can
I am ready for love
Here with an offering of My voice, My Eyes, My soul, My mind.
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love.

Attraction

What attracts you to the opposite sex? Is it the looks or the personality.

People will say things like 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' or 'I love him because he has a great personality'(that's code for he's ugly.....at least that's what I say). First impressions last, so what I see will either attract or repel me. That's why I think it's important for people to be neat and tidy(when you can obviously). Ugly or beautiful? that goes according to personal taste, I might like thin guys and a friend of mine will think that big dudes are the 'in thing'.

Anyway I think people's tastes and preferences change as they grow, what I thought was hot is not the same thing as what I think is hot now. So each to his own.....I kind of prefer it that way, coz it means that there's someone for everyone.

I'm back

Wow, it has been too long but I'm back now and I just hope my stay will be longer this time.

We just recently had the 16 days of activism against women abuse, the sad thing is that half the women in South Africa had no clue about it. That happens to be the half that actually suffers from such abuse. How do we end this cycle?

I had a chat to my collegues this morning about women who think that the only way a man can prove his love is by 'disciplining them' (as if they are incapable of telling right from wrong). Why does someone have to be violent to prove their love? I don't know maybe I've been living in another world for the past few years and someone changed the rules in my absence.

Society teaches women to be subserviant and dependant on their male counterparts and I think that's where the problem starts. You get people who think that being single is some kind of a curse, like without a man you are nothing. Yound girls look forward to going out with a rich guy who can do things for them, whatever happened to doing it for yourself?

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against men. I just have beef with women who think they are inferior because of their sex. Women risk their lives in the name of love or because they want to do what's right. What happened to your happiness? Doing what's right for you? I have seen too many beautiful, intelligent women falling into this trap and it is truly devastating.

Ladies you need to learn to love yourselves and do things for yourselves.....there's nothing sexy about a clingy, insecure and dependant woman. Self love is where it begins, if we want men to treat us right we need to lead by example. Why should someone put you on a pedastal when you treat yourself like a cheap ..........

Racist

Today I read an email that got me thinking about racism. It is still there whether we like to admit it or not. You see it when you go to the mall from the shopkeepers who follow you around to make sure you don't steal anything(u are black after all and 'black people steal').
When you drive a flashy, the police just assume that you stole it. But racism doesn't only come from white people, we are also gulity of it(yep bodarkie).

If one of you starts dating a white person, you have issues with it...'they are sleeping with the enemy'(so to speak). We are gulity of a whole of a lot of things that we accuse them of.

The truth is many of us are still stuck in the past...I'm not saying we should forget our history but my point is; if we don't learn from our past we are doomed to repeat it.

Butterfly

I thought I should take the time to explain why I chose butterfly and my fascination with them.
Butterflies are very fragile and beautiful little creatures. They live a short life but bring such colour and beauty, you just have to admire them.

Maybe that's how i see my myself; a butterfly waiting to spread it's wings. The past years were the cocoon stage and now the catterpillar is turning into butterfly. I know i'm starting to sound crazy but just bear with me. I don't know what else to say, next time you see a butterfly, take time to really look at it and maybe you'll understand what i mean.

ps. do not touch it, you might just break its fragile wings.

Single and happy

Single and happy: Some how people have it in their minds that those 2 words don't go together, it's weird really. We've come to associate being single with loneliness and pain. Especially when a woman is single, 'then there has to be something wrong with her'.



I've been single for a while now, a decision i made after realising that i could achieve more and pay more attention to my needs as a single woman. Ever since i can remember my life has been about the people around me. About their happiness and their thoughts...i had it in mind that if they were happy then i would automatically follow. It took a really bad experience/event to wake me from my little dream world.



I went through what i still say is the hardest situation in my life, it was just months of wishing i would die and crying every morning when i realised that i was still alive and living the nightmare. The event is still fresh in mind and it still pains me to think about it which is why i cannot share it with you. But the point is, i woke up and decided to focus on my happiness.



I now do things because i want to, not because it will make so and so happy. I know it sounds funny but i'm discovering new things about myself and i've actually realised that i'm stronger than i thought, something God was trying to show me all along. I'm not saying I won't get involved in the future but all I'm saying is I'm enjoying my space.



So there, I am single and happy and damn proud to say so.